I really wish I knew what was going to make me happy.
I thought I knew.
A car. A job. Money. An apartment. A beaituful girl.
Well - I have all that. And I don't feel any happier. In fact, I think I'm more depressed than ever.
At any moment I feel like I could just shatter into a million pieces.
Or cry forever.
I realize that I enjoy the company of others, especially my girl, but I'm most comfortable alone.
I never have the desire to finish the things I've started.
Its a task just to get out of bed in the morning.
I don't know how to change it all. How to pull myself out of this pit of despair I've created for myself.
Maybe the first step in fixing myself is figuring out how to fix me. I can't figure out the what until I figure out the how.
