Ugh. I hate Caitlin so much sometimes.
Maybe its just me. Maybe I am a little self-centered and selfish and can only think of myself sometimes. But does that mean I'm always wrong?
I'm sick of dealing with her all the time. I really am. I miss her when we're not together or don't talk for a while, but I'm getting sick of dealing with her. I really am. I have never met someone who is so emotional or takes things so personally before.
We get into a fight and I don't understand why we're fighting, and don't apologize and she freaks out. She freaks the fuck out. Yelling and screaming and throwing shit. Or we get upset. She decides she doesn't want to talk so she says she's hanging up. I try to walk away and I'm in the wrong. She hangs up and it's all gravy.
Or how she keeps me up all night every night. Even when I have to work at 7 am. She only wants to have sex at night time, when I'm exhausted. She wants me to wake up when she wants me to. She's yelling about this damn accident report. She's driving me insane.
I just want to sleep. I just want to work and make money. I just want to be left the fuck alone sometimes. Just leave me alone sometimes. Let me do what I do and just leave me alone.
Turn off the lights. Take out the garbage. Put the food away. Cover your mouth when you yawn. I feel like I'm living with my mother. And I hate how she's trying to tell me how to save my money that I work for. I get that I owe people stuff - but this isn't the first time I've been in debt and it probably won't be the last. Leave me alone. Let me handle it.
I appreciate her help and that she cares so much. But I'm growing sick of this. And my arm looks like shit right now. I'm freaking out and she still finds a way to argue with me.
Why can't you just say "We'll figure it out. Don't worry, it'll be okay. Whatever happens, you're going to be fine. We're going to be fine." Where the fuck are my words of encouragement? But she's always going off on me when I don't have any.
And I can't stop looking at my arm. Its just getting worse. That should be the main focus! But do you know what is? The fact that Sara is leaving from the Galleria and going to Midrivers. That's why she's crying. Not for me but because her manager is going to a different store and that she won't be getting 40 hours in August anymore.
I feel like... I just want me own place. My own space. That I don't want to deal with her anymore. I"m stressed and frustrated and scared. I just want to be left alone.
