I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I must really be lonely. I've been thinking a lot about Marissa lately - or at least the Marissa I wanted to date back in high school. And Morgan. When Morgan... loved me. The feelings I had then. I don't have them now and would never try to pursue either of them ever again, but I can't stop thinking about the past for some reason.
I think its just because I'm so unhappy. My life is just one diaster after another. If its not tickets and bills, its car trouble and lost wallets. I'm just getting so tired of the way my life is turning out.
From dealing with my mom's moods swings to Caitlin's, I'm just feeling a little miserable. I feel like everything is going to hell, all of the time. I work and work and work, and I still get noting. I try to make Caitlin happy but she never really is. I don't have any friends. I don't have any money. I don't have anything. I'm just exhausted all of the time with nothing to show for it.
I really feel like I'm getting to the end of my rope here. How much unhappiness can I endure before its just too much? I'm trying to be strong cause I believe that that's what life is about. Being strong. Fighting back. Never giving in. But whoever said I was strong?
I can't even write a damn journal, cause Caitlin's in the other room crying about... something. Something about me not wanting to talk to her friend Talisa cause she's homophobic and I don't like homophobic people. I don't know. Just have to go now.
