30 Days Until I Freak Out

So, I give myself until... about.. January 26th to freak out about leaving. I have practically a month and I haven't been doing shit to prepare myself. I'm hoping that that will all change.

Tomorrow is the beginning of the end - or should I say the beginning of the beginning. Since Unique left her car here for a week or two, I'm feeling hopeful. Now we have two cars again, for like a second. So, tomorrow, I'm starting over.

I'm getting up at 0300, because that's what I'm all be getting up at Ft. Jackson, and going to bed around 2000. Well. I might have to change that to 0400 and 2100 and then just compensate for the hour difference when I get there. Most nights I can't even get to bed until 3:00 AM. Lol.

I'm going to start back up with my Future Soldier Training online, even if I have to go to Mickey D's or Barnes & Noble or DQ to do it. And I'm going to try reading the entire IET Handbook. And going through the ArmyStudyGuide.com site.

And I'm going to start doing my morning, evening and night pushups and sit ups again. Along with going to the YMCA to run and workout. Still trying to get to that three miles before I go! Guess I have to start with One Mile again but I know I can make it to three if I just put forth the effort. Eat better. Drink LOTS and LOTS of water, which I should start at this very moment, really.

And. Last but not least, work on my paking list. First thing on the list is getting my bank form figured out. And I can no longer waste money. I need to pay Caitlin $400. I don't even know how I went backwards. Okay, maybe that was Christmas money that should've been rent money but you know. [Which reminds me, how can she hound me for the $200 I owe her every time we're together or at least every time it comes up in conversation but then turn right back around and ask me to pay for braces? Does she know how much that cost? Regardless of how much I will be making. I mean, come on.]

I also think that I should finish my Shane and Alyssa story. Maybe get a really good start on Cory and Sean. And quite possibly take a crack at that Erotica book Radclyffe is editing. At the very least, I can get some insight on where my writing skill really is and maybe even figure out what I need to do to improve it. You know, now that I will be travelling a bit, I bet I can make one of Rad's workshops next year! Or take a trip to Provincetown around Womens Week? Lol. Maybe not but maybe I really will be able to meet her in person. That would be so sweet!

Anyhow. Preparing for BCT. Preparing to leave. I need to pack up my room at my moms. See Morgan. Maybe even Nana. And figure out what I'm going to do with all my stuff here. What I want to keep. What I want to get rid of. The crap that are just so unnecessary.

And maybe - hopefully - doing all this will prepare me mentally for what I'm about to do.

Going Crazy

I don't know what's going on today, but I seriously feel like I don't want to do a single thing right now. I really don't know what happened. I know finals start... like really soon. And I know that I have a Course Project due sometime this week that is worth quite a bit of points. And I know I should be learning this Chi Square stuff for Stats. And working out. And learning all I can about this Army stuff. And writing as much as I can.

But God, I can't concentrate. Its driving me crazy. I know the cold weather makes me not want to do anything but lie in bed and be lazy, but... school is almost over! Ugh. Do I need warmer clothes or something? I don't know. It's crazy not being able to concentrate. I really need to do this homework and practice exam and project. I really need to read and study and get ready. Cause this lazy shit isn't going to fly in the military!

Maybe I just need to prioritize. Make a list of crap that needs to be done and then do it. Yeah - Maybe that will help. Putting things into perspective does seem to help sometimes.