How should I ask Caitlin to be my girlfriend?? I have no idea. I want it to be something special, so I'm thinking about doing something interesting on Christmas... since she said she always wanted something to ask her out on a holiday. I hate that its Christmas... since its at the end of the year. Which mean, next year, our one year will be Christmas, but if that's what she wants then that's what I want to give her. lol. Wow - I guess I do sound like a pleaser. Kind of. Just because I want to make HER happy doesn't mean I'm a pleaser! I don't just do this for anyone. But Caitlin... I guess it would be lame to say she's special but she really is. There is just something about her.
So, I need to come up with something extra awesome. But I have no idea what that is and Christmas is like ten days away. I really need to learn to stop doing things last minute. No wonder why she gets so frustrated.
Man, I miss her. I think I may be becoming a little too dependent on her presence. All I ever want is to be near Caitlin... which means I'm not getting necessary stuff done. Uh. Like school... I have two test due today and one on Wednesday, but what am I doing? Watching Naruto because it keeps my mind off of how much I miss Caitlin. Jeez, Tee. Need to get this shit together. This is probably why my relationships don't last very long. I lose focus so easily.
So. My resolution for this relationship is to stay focused on the things that matter.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Fearless
The only way to concure fear, is to embrace it. But that simple act seems to be the most difficult. Fear is one of the most powerful emotions. Its hold on us is so strong than it can last forever. Even the strongest person in the world has fear. So, not matter how strong of an individual you become, there will always, always be fear.
So, what then, do we do with this emotion? Even the idea of going against fear is frightening. As long as you allow fear to control you, then you will forever be on the safe side of life. And the moment you step away from it, you are so suspectable to the harmful things around you.
To open your heart to something - has to be the most frightening of things. Cause as long as its closed off, you're safe. And the moment its open, all the bad things that can harm you can happen. I guess that's the thing. Just because it can hurt you, does mean that it will. And as long as you keep it closed off - safe from all the harm, you also keep it closed off from all the good.
So then fear comes into play once again. Cause if you're willing to open your heart for someone, now comes the task of trusting that person to keep your fragile heart safe from all the things you were afraid of in the first place. No longer can you safeguard your heart, because now you have theirs to protect. The main priority is no longer yourself - but the girl who made you want to try opening up your heart in the first place is what matters now. Cause its not just about you anymore. Its about her. And while you're busy keeping her heart safe, you just have to trust that she will keep yours safe, because all you want is for her to be happy and secure.
Is that the essence of being fearless?
So, what then, do we do with this emotion? Even the idea of going against fear is frightening. As long as you allow fear to control you, then you will forever be on the safe side of life. And the moment you step away from it, you are so suspectable to the harmful things around you.
To open your heart to something - has to be the most frightening of things. Cause as long as its closed off, you're safe. And the moment its open, all the bad things that can harm you can happen. I guess that's the thing. Just because it can hurt you, does mean that it will. And as long as you keep it closed off - safe from all the harm, you also keep it closed off from all the good.
So then fear comes into play once again. Cause if you're willing to open your heart for someone, now comes the task of trusting that person to keep your fragile heart safe from all the things you were afraid of in the first place. No longer can you safeguard your heart, because now you have theirs to protect. The main priority is no longer yourself - but the girl who made you want to try opening up your heart in the first place is what matters now. Cause its not just about you anymore. Its about her. And while you're busy keeping her heart safe, you just have to trust that she will keep yours safe, because all you want is for her to be happy and secure.
Is that the essence of being fearless?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)