My Baby

My Baby

So, Kelly's birthday is tomorrow, so I sent her flowers and she finally got them today.

Let me just say that surprising her has to be the hardest thing in the world to do! She told me that she doesn't work on Fridays, so I put the date for Friday and to be sent to her mother's house. Cept, Thursday night she decides that she's going to her dads to rip up the carpet.

So I started freaking out. She ended up spending the night. I called Friday and changed it to Saturday, thinking she would go to her dads Friday. Instead, she goes to Jamie's. So at this point, I'm like screw it!

Lol. I wanted it to be delivered TO HER. Instead, her brother got them and told her that something was delivered to her but he didn't say what it was or who it was from. Gotta love her brother.

So finally, after a day out with Jamie and her daughter at the mall, she finally made it home. I was on the phone with her when she got them. I kind of lied and said I didn't send her anything when her brother had called earlier, but of course I wasn't going to confess. After how fucking hard it was to keep it a secret in the first place. I almost told her like a thousand times to just go home so she could get them. I did learn one thing though! The next time I want to surprise her, its going to have to be super, extra stealthy. Granted, being so far away, doing anything for her is going to be ten times more difficult than it would be if we were at least living in the same state. When we're living together, I'm probably going to have to hide stuff in the barracks if I want to keep them a secret. Lol.

I know she's like 2,000 miles away but things have been so great with her. Better than it has been with any girl I've dated... probably in the last 4 years. She's so amazing. She's kind, attenative, silly, funny, caring, cute, sexy, understanding. She loves me exactly the way I am and isn't afraid to be 100 percent of herself. She tells me everything. She's always honest. She's always asking my opinion on things in her life. And she's told her entire family and her friends about me. She sincerely cares.

And the way she makes me feel... I don't even know how to describe it. I'm just genuinely happy when I talk to her. She makes me laugh, she makes me smile. She makes me feel included and cared about. Its like 4 years ago, when we were first hanging out. Well, almost four years ago... back in July of 2008. I loved her so much. When she left, it was so difficult for me. I didn't even realize how difficult it was. It broke my heart and I haven't been able to really love anyone since then.

Now that I have her back I don't ever want to let her go again. I honestly think we were meant to be together. She's amazing. And we are better having each in the other's life than without. When she left, I went from one fucked up thing with a girl to another. My thinking changed. I valued the wrong things. Dated the wrong people. Got stuck in a almost two year relationship with someone I could never be happy with, searching for the things I wanted with Kelly from someone else. And she got into a almost 3 year relationship with a douche bag who treated her so terribly, abused her and cheated on her with a 14 year old a month before she was supposed to get married to him. And when we stopped talking when I got to Korea, back in November, I got a DUI and got into a crazy thing with that bitch, and she got addicted to alcohol and pills...

I think with her in my life, I'm not selfish anymore. I don't want things just for myself. I want things for the both of us. I want things for her. I want to make her life better. I want to always be there for her. I love her. I can actually see myself starting a family with her one day. I can't wait to be with her on Thursday. I just can't wait to wrap my arms around her and tell her how much I love her in person. And I can't wait until she moves here and we can actually be together. Like... a couple. Like... partners.

Maybe that is the difference. I just want to love her and be with her. She makes me more happy that anyone I've ever been with. I don't even know how many times I can say it. Lol. Think she may be the love of my life. I see her and she tugs at my heart strings. I wish I could wrap my arms around her and just love her forever. I miss her so damn much. I love her so damn much. I don't think I've ever been so sure of anything before in my life. I'm actually thinking of reenlisting for another 3 or 4 years, just so I can give her the things she needs in life. Wow. I've really fallen in love with her. Lol.