Kelly is driving me absolutely crazy with the shit that is going on in her life right now. I know I'm not supposed to really complain about trying to be a good girlfriend. I am just fucking tired of this Dave and Jamie bull shit. They are terrible people. Dave is this unstable, possibly bi-polar douche back ass-hole and Jamie is terrible, selfish, egotistical, horrible fucking mother who are both alcholics and drug addicts. All they do is sit up in their dirty fucking home and drink and smoke and pop pills while the baby is in the other room. These people are just... the worse fucking people a person could be involved with. All they do is live shitty lives and they want everyone else to live shitty lives and when they don't live shitty fucking lives, they get upset.
She has a right to be upset about the bullshit in her life but I don't understand why she is so upset that she has to be all depressed and moopy. She really made it seem to me like she didn't give a fuck about Dave. That he has basically just been stalking her and she has been nice by not telling him to fuck off. When really, I think there are some feelings for him somewhere. If she does, she should just fucking say so. I can not stand secrets. I can't stand feelings as if there is something I don't know that I should know. Something that is depremental to our relationship.
She gets upset and she smokes and she drinks and then she has these anxiety attack things and her stomach swells and she can't breath and just everything. Its ridiculous. All this negative fucking bullshit she does when something bad happens just drives me crazy. I don't understand it. I'm just fucking tired of dealing with these people. I don't even know these people and they are affecting my relationship.
Is it wrong to want a happy, healthy relationship? And to want honesty? And to want my girlfriend to be happy?
I just miss her so damn much. Its not fair that these horrible people like Jamie and Dave get to live near her and have her in their lives when they don't appreciate it. They had the chance to have an amazing person in their lives and they are upset because she is better than them. I wish she lived near me. I miss her.
I just want to be with her. I just want to hold her when I'm sad. Its not fair that we're apart. Its not fair that we belong together but we aren't together. I feel like the world is punishing me still...
I feel like everything is still trying to punish me. Still can't fucking drive a car. Can't even get my license without paying a shit ton of fucking money. I can't afford a car and who knows when I will fucking be able to afford one. I'm still broke.
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