Love Is A Lie

Love is a lie. Everything about love is a complete and utter lie. We watch these fucking movies and TV shows and read these books and get it in our heads that there is someone out there for us. Someone meant only for us. Someone who will take away the pain and make the bullshit of this world seem less shitty. Someone who you can love with all of your heart and who will love you the same in return. But that's such a fucking lie. Because you can love someone until you're blue in the fucking face, do everything you can for them, dedicate yourself to them and only them, give them the sun and the moon and just love them... accept them, support them, in every way imaginable and guess what? They won't love you back. They won't want you back. You won't be enough for them.

I thought that if Kelly moved here that we would be happy. That I could give her all the shit she doesn't have back in Missouri, all the love and support a person can give her, a nice, awesome place to stay, a life that isn't engulfed with drugs and alcohol and abuse. A life that is filled with love.

But yeah. That isn't enough. Its our second month anniversary today... she has only been in Washington 7 days, and this relationship is already over.  Its completely fucking over. She wants to go back home to a family that ignores her until she is ready to leave their asses. Brothers who beat the shit out of her, parents who forgot she even existed. Parents who gave her room away to people who don't fucking deserve is. Parents who allowed her to be abused and misused for years... who allowed her to be so depressed that she cut and mutilated her body, almost fucking killed herself who knows how many times. A job who only gave her 2 days a week. A dog that loved her bullshit ex more than her. A life that was just filled with pain.

Yeah. Love is a lie. Its nothing, actually. Its not enough for the one you love to stay. Its not enough to keep a person on their feet. Its not enough for anything. Its just nothing, really. Its a bullshit lie we are told from infancy. A lie we are told to explain why your parents and friends and family mistreat and use you. A lie we are told to explain why someone hurt you, or beat you, or just made you feel like crap for no reason. Its a lie that makes heart ache and heart break possible. Just a fucking lie.