Four Day

Thursday has finally come and gone and now I get to spend the weekend with JayCee! I am so excited.

Things with this girl are so insane! I've never been so into a girl before. Not... and actually embrace the feeling instead of embracing it. Cause I've never trusted anyone with these type of feelings before. But JayCee is so different. She's sweet and kind and something about her... her sincerity makes me feel comfortable. I don't see her dumping me later for an ex or only being into me for the sex or something besides the fact that she just likes me. You know what I mean?

She kisses me and it feels genuine. She looks at me and its genuine. And holds my hand or pulls me closer and I think its just because she feels something. Not because she likes the way I look or the way we look together or because she just really wants a girlfriend. I think its because she actually likes me and it feels that way. Its so crazy!

I can't keep my eyes or my hands or my lips off of her. I want her near me all the time. Ugh. Its crazy. I know I shouldn't be this into a person. Its way too fast. But I like the fact that if I was okay with going fast that it would be okay to feel that way. I can trust that if we slow things down and take our time and really get to know each other that she's not going to just disappear or decides she doesn't like me anymore or anything like that.

She's so sincere its crazy! Like. I told her one night that alll I wanted to eat was chocolate chip cookies and that night she made me some and brought them to me! And they're amazingly good. We were at the bar yesterday for karaoke and I was freezing and she gave my her all white, favorite hoodie...and she's a slickler for clothes like me. Trust no one with the clothes! But she game me her and said to hold on to it. Lol. I know that's something small but... I don't know. She makes me feel like a girl one moment and then the next I get to be dominant and its great. I get to be who I am, keeping my butchness completely in tact while not always having to be that dominant one. Its great.

Anyway. Its 12 am I need to get some sleep. She's picking me up in the morning and we're going to sneak away from Post for the weekend. One night we're staying in a hotel somewhere and then we're going to be hanging at her place until Sunday. Can't wait!