Road Not Taken

I'm supposed to be writing this essay on The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost, but of course I can't concentrate. Its due tomorrow at 10 and of course, I can't come up with shit. And that's my favorite poem. But this Luckey thing is driving my crazy. It should've been over and done with by now. This crap has been going on for weeks. But I don't want to drop her from my life. And I don't want her to drop me. And she doesn't want it either. She keeps saying she wants me. But I'm with Caitlin.

Back in high school, or even when I first started college, I would've died to get a girl like her's attention. She's pretty much everything I want in a girl. She's got the look, the style, the attitude. But she's not in school anymore, she lives with her ex, she can't be trusted and she plays with me so damn much. One moment she wants this. And the next she wants something totally opposite. One moment she's saying how she wants to distance herself from me. And the next she's asking if I want to spend the night. Like what is that? And why am I drawn to her so much?

I have a girlfriend who I work with. We're good together. We have everything planned out and we're trying to get that. With Luckey, I feel like its just physical. And a little psychological, since I can't get over it. I do want her. But me and Caitlin are solid. Even if there weren't a me and Caitlin, me and Luckey wouldn't last long. Maybe a two months. But I don't like that she lives with Jaimie, I don't like that she parties all the damn time. I don't like her friends. It would never work. It would just be a mistake. So, why is it a mistake I'm so willing to make?

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;"

I have two girls I like. I can see how far things with me and Luckey will go. I can see how things will turn out.

"Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,"

But I decided to go with Caitlin, because it was a better choice.

"And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back."

I told Luckey that maybe one day, we could try things. But that I'm with Caitlin now. I doubt that I'll ever be with Luckey though.

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

I had two girls I cared about. Two choices in which to choose from. Instead of taking the second, which was what I normally would've done. And it would've taken me to the same places I had already visited. I took the one less traveled by, the one I had never tried before. And that made all the difference. It actually worked out.

How can I not find something to write about with this poem? I'm fucking living it!

I need to stop focusing on Luckey so much. I need to just let her drift from my world. Cause her being in it isn't going to do much of anything, but hold us both back. I guess a part of me is just scared that I might regret it... ha, like I'm not heading down that path already. I just need to put it in words: I think that I might get tired of Caitlin one day and want someone like Luckey but it will be too late. And I'm a little afraid that I'm supposed to have a Luckey stage but I skipped it.

Whatever. What's done is done. I don't live in regret. I make decisions and I live with them. I took the road that would make a difference. Caitlin is the most amazing girl I've ever met and Luckey is an inconsiderate dick. There's nothing to have second thoughts about.