Realization.

I Don't Need To Be Rescued...

And I don't want to have to rescue anyone else either. I cannot be the light at the end of your dark tunnel. I can't be your Knight in shining armor. I can't be anything that involves fucking saving you because I'm way too busy trying to save myself at the moment. That is all I have the strength for.

I understand that people have tough days. Sometimes tough weeks or months. But its a hard knock life for every fucking body. We are all having a hard life. It sucks. But do you think that anyone want to sit up and listen to your crappy fucking life all the fucking time when they are having a hard time themselves?

But that isn't really the problem, is it? You have this preprogrammed instinct that you must save every girl you catch feelings for. Something isn't perfect so you automatically assum eit needs fixing when no one ever said it did. And its even worse when they acknowledge how chaotic their lives are because then you - kind fucking you - has to try and fix it. Has to try and make it better. Its stupid and insane but that is who you are T.J. You always feels that you must help someone. That you have to show them kindness and acceptance.

That's not your job, however.

And its exactly why you need to find someone who doesn't need rescuing either. Not in that literal sense you seem to be drawn towards.

Like you said. Everyone has it tough. That is just life. You can't fucking fix everyone.

All you can do is fix yourself. All you can do is rescue yourself. All you can do it the best you fucking can for yourself. All you can do is allow others to figure shit out on their own.

Because that's the type of person you want in your life. Not someone you need to fucking save. But someone who has figured out how to save themselves. That way, you know they are strong enough to have you in their lives. Because, lets face it, you are a tough person to deal with. And not just any girl can handle you.