Alright, I know I told myself not to get overly excited about the prospect of Trey but he is just too damn amazing not to talk about. Especially since he is driving down tomorrow so we can hang out. And I'm pretty sure he's spending the night and we're going to continue hanging out Monday, also.
He is so damn amazing. We Skyped for the first time and I was nervous there might be awkward silences but it was never an issue. We chatted and joked and it was just so fucking awesome. And when things got too embarrassing to talk about, we typed it out. Lol. Like. Having him to talk to is so great and I just don't have enough words to describe how much I like this guy.
One of the things we talked about was being referred to as him or her. And he told me that sometimes he feels feminine and sometimes he feels masculine and I was just like how about I refer to you as both, depending on which you're feeling like and he got super excited about it.
Like. I know, it sounds a little strange however, I have no problem with it. I like that he feels he's both. That he has his days and then she has her days and it reflects in her personalitiy. I'm sure the clothes will pretty much give it away but I will have to pay close attention. Have no problem with that, also. And if I can't figure it out, I'll just have to ask. Lol.
He's such an amazing person. And the dynamic between us is so awesome. I like it. Because no matter what he feels like, he likes that I am more dominant and pretty protective and I really like the fact that he is kind of territorial because I have no prblem if he wants to stake a claim or something.
I'm pretty sure we are going to be taking things slowly, though. I mean, talking all the time and Skyping is one thing but we both decided we were going to work on ourselves this year before we ever really knew each other and I have no plans of going back on that now.
Like, I really wish my car situations was squared away now. And that my body looked more like what I see in my head. And that I am just a better, more stable person period. I know I still feel pretty broken and my confidence is not where I want it to be... but I don't want to keep distance between us. I seriously don't. I don't want to miss out on a good thing. So, I will just have to keep things slow and steady.
Although, there is Valentines day to think about. Stupid shit is right around the fucking corner. But he told me that he actually likes romantic stuff so HOPEFULLY my car situation will be better and I can drive down and maybe bring flowers or a teddy bear or something. Lol. Ask him to be my Valentine. Cheesy, I know but he is so damn amazing. I just want him to know that.
Okay. I know, I'm getting ahead of myself here. Today is only the 19th and Valentines Day is a month away and I have other things I should be worrying about, I can't stop thinking about him so... yeah. I want to say like he's too things working out with him or getting better or here's to getting to know more about him but gosh damn it, I'm afaid to fucking jinx this. This guy really is something.
I don't know what mistake I always, always make with the other people I become interested in and then date and then get into a relationship with but I seriously don't want to fucking fuck this up. I need to figure out what my issue is and fix it because oh my gosh, I haven't smiled like this in so damn long. I don't want that to go away.
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